Feeling Depressed? Identifying Values Can Help.

Depression, sadness, or hopelessness can feel confusing. Considering how to feel better can be overwhelming. If you’re feeling depressed and not sure why, simply identifying your values can help.

What do you find yourself caring the most about? Relationships? Adventure? Knowledge? Fun?

These aspects of life we find ourselves drawn to--that we find important--are values. For a list of values often used in psychotherapy, click here.

Once you identify your top values, you’ve essentially created a map to life satisfaction. 

Consider: Does my day-to-day life align with my values?

If not, you may be feeling lackluster.

Sometimes our responsibilities, circumstances, and culture take precedence over our values. If you value adventure, cliff diving in Tahiti is likely not in the cards for today.

However, you have the power to incorporate your top values into your everyday life right now by making small and different choices. For example, you can go on a long drive and see where it takes you, try something new for lunch, or get curious about an unfamiliar person in your life.

Making choices in line with your top values, big and small, can help lift your depression and give you more vitality to live the life that makes you happy.

Are You Chameleoning?

“The thing about chameleoning your way through life is that it gets to where nothing is real.” -John Green

Are you an expert at adapting to the people and places around you like a chameleon? When we over-adapt, we risk losing our connection to ourselves, our values, and our boundaries. This can leave us feeling depressed and anxious.

As much as we’d like to be the most agreeable, easygoing person in the room, we simply can’t please everyone. What are some ways you notice yourself over-adapting?

Here are some ideas:

-Taking on more projects or activities than we would like to “keep up”

-Participating in language or behaviors we don’t prefer to “fit in” 

-Spending too much time alone or too much time with others to satisfy norms in our social group

-Allowing our self-expression/appearance to be overly-influenced by the people around us

-Letting go of activities we’re passionate about to make time for what’s important to “the group”

When we mindfully limit over-adapting, we have more control over our mood, self-esteem, and health. We feel more authentic, more respected, and more confident.

If you tend to chameleon or over-adapt, all you need to do to re-center is consider what practices ground you back into yourself. What activities and ways of being have you let go of that are important to you? Jump back in to those things, and you’ll feel back to normal in no time.