Feeling Depressed? Identifying Values Can Help.

Depression, sadness, or hopelessness can feel confusing. Considering how to feel better can be overwhelming. If you’re feeling depressed and not sure why, simply identifying your values can help.

What do you find yourself caring the most about? Relationships? Adventure? Knowledge? Fun?

These aspects of life we find ourselves drawn to--that we find important--are values. For a list of values often used in psychotherapy, click here.

Once you identify your top values, you’ve essentially created a map to life satisfaction. 

Consider: Does my day-to-day life align with my values?

If not, you may be feeling lackluster.

Sometimes our responsibilities, circumstances, and culture take precedence over our values. If you value adventure, cliff diving in Tahiti is likely not in the cards for today.

However, you have the power to incorporate your top values into your everyday life right now by making small and different choices. For example, you can go on a long drive and see where it takes you, try something new for lunch, or get curious about an unfamiliar person in your life.

Making choices in line with your top values, big and small, can help lift your depression and give you more vitality to live the life that makes you happy.

That Sucks. Tell Me More.

Sometimes we need to hear that our experience sucks. Sometimes we’re not ready to fix or change perspective. The first step toward healing and evolving in relationship is validation.

Validation takes our brains off the defense. It soothes our nervous system. It moves us out of fear.

Many of us have been taught that validating is self-loathing or “having a pity party”. The truth is, validation is just the opposite--it’s the doorway to action.

Once we properly validate ourselves or someone else, we can then proceed with problem-solving and positive thinking--without conflict and resistance.

How might this apply to your life? How can we express what we understand about each other’s experience before we jump into fixing? What questions can we ask to make sure we get it right?