Sometimes we need to hear that our experience sucks. Sometimes we’re not ready to fix or change perspective. The first step toward healing and evolving in relationship is validation.

Validation takes our brains off the defense. It soothes our nervous system. It moves us out of fear.

Many of us have been taught that validating is self-loathing or “having a pity party”. The truth is, validation is just the opposite--it’s the doorway to action.

Once we properly validate ourselves or someone else, we can then proceed with problem-solving and positive thinking--without conflict and resistance.

How might this apply to your life? How can we express what we understand about each other’s experience before we jump into fixing? What questions can we ask to make sure we get it right?