We Don't Need To Find Our Purpose

As people seeking evolution and life satisfaction, we often hold a belief that we must “find our purpose” in order to feel fulfilled. We seek externally for that perfect job or that perfect hobby that will give us the “aha moment” we’ve been waiting for. We want to know why we were put on this planet. 

What does purpose mean to you? Why is it worth the search? What are you truly trying to find?

Most of us are looking for a sense of life satisfaction. A safety in ourselves and our life. Simply put: We want to be happy.

The truth is, our purpose is not something to find. It’s something to remember.

Instead of looking for your purpose, notice in what moments you are already living it. In other words, what are you doing when you feel the most free? What comes easily to you? What can you lose track of time doing? 

Bonus question: What makes you feel like a kid again?

In these moments of flow/joy/freedom, our purpose is simply revealed to us. No grasping or searching required. We remember how to feel free.

We need to release the pressure we put on ourselves to have it all figured out—as individuals and as a culture. Our dissatisfaction with life can create an anxiety and an urgency around finding this elusive purpose. We can feel behind and even ashamed for feeling lost.

The truth is, the figuring out happens naturally when we follow our freedom. There is nothing to find but our joy that has been with us all along. We live our way into the answer.

Focus on the ease and fall into your purpose.

Your Sensitivity Is Your Strength

Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) are born with sensitivity as an evolutionary survival strategy. Dr. Elaine Aron outlines the unique ways HSP’s experience the world:

Depth of processing: We think deeply and thoroughly about choices, ideas, and meaning.

Overstimulation: We experience stimuli strongly and our nervous systems can be more easily overloaded than non-HSP’s (think lighting, noise, etc.)

Emotional responsiveness/empathy: We experience emotions intensely and can easily attune to the emotions of others.

Sensitivity to subtle stimuli: We pick up on small changes in our environment.

As HSP’s we can be great at taking responsibility for the challenges of our sensitivity. We notice how other people struggle to understand the intensity of our emotions and how exhausted we can become from seemingly innocuous social interactions. We can quickly adapt to the norms and needs of others, leaving ourselves feeling depleted and wondering what is wrong with us.

The truth is: You are sensitive and you are normal. Sensitivity, like any other temperament style or personality trait, is normal and comes with challenges and strengths.

We so often forget to acknowledge all of the benefits that come with our sensitivity. We are privileged to feel the spectrum of human emotion fully. We get to think deeply about the world and our place in it. We are able to be intuitive and generous for the people we love. We get to build lives of meaning. Because purpose is a necessity for us. We get to live honestly. Because our truth is too loud to ignore.

If you’re feeling faced with the downsides of your sensitivity, remember that it comes with countless gifts and that you’re not alone. Take advantage of the rich and beautiful life your sensitivity affords you to live.

To learn more about Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s), click here.

How To Think Positively...and Believe It

Harnessing the “power of positive thinking” can feel like an elusive and frustrating endeavor. If you’ve ever tried to replace negative thoughts with more positive thoughts, you know believing them is easier said than done.

Have you ever been in a negative headspace and had someone sweetly advise you to “be positive”? You’re not alone if this made you want to scream.

Thinking positively AND BELIEVING IT is hard!

Here are two tricks that make thinking positively and believing it possible:

Validate Yourself

Our positive thought must acknowledge what is true about the negative/sad/worried part of our thinking. Our thoughts should validate us, just like we validate our friends before going into fix-it mode. It takes us off the defense. No unicorn or rainbow thoughts allowed.

If I am stressing about paying my bills, telling myself, “Who cares?! Money is just paper!” isn’t going to resolve my worry.

If I tell myself, “This is stressful. I don’t know what to do now, but I know I’ll figure it out,” I am more likely to feel soothed and relaxed.

Notice Your Body

Once we have a validating positive thought, notice what is happening in the body. When we are thinking negatively, a sensation pairs with the negative thought. This could be a pit in the stomach, tightness in the throat, or a racing heart.

When we use an effective positive thought that validates and uplifts us, the proof is in the body. Do the shoulders relax? Does the heart lift? Does the breath deepen?

If so, high five! You have mastered how to think positively and believe it.